Here in Beijing with the broad range of countries, cultures, and contexts I'm exposed to, I feel even more awkward. It's embarrassing to disengage when someone is mid-way through the complicated ritual, and I'm afraid I'll break some noses otherwise with a wrong start. Here are some examples.
Frederique is French and Australian and does the two-cheek kiss or a light hug.
Fred from Atlanta (a friend of a friend who I've only seen twice) greets me with one kiss on the cheek and a hug.
Amanda, originally from Indiana, has lived in UK, but in China for past 2 years, gives a strong hug.
David the American raised in China shakes hands every time he sees me.
Jun from the Philippines does the one-cheek kiss.
Keri, a Brit who lived much of her life in China, prefers not to be touched.
Elizabeth's parents are Dutch; she grew up in Atlanta but has lived in Europe for many years. After our first meeting, she gave me a hug, but her husband, who is Dutch, did the 3 cheek kiss, or tried, because expecting two, I pulled away prematurely. I did this the last time I saw him too. How do you make up for it? Do you go back in for the last one, or do you start all over? Or do you just walk away with your tail between your legs?
When I meet Chinese at most types of events, after you shake hands, there is a formal business card exchange. Normally, the card is proferred with both hands, with the words (in the correct language-many people I've met have English on one side and Chinese on the other) facing the person accepting the card, and should be accepted with both hands. This is also done with credit cards, hotel room keys, restaurant bills, and receipts. This is hard to do when you are fumbling (as I often am) in your over-stuffed purse through two cell phones, gloves, maps, phrase book for your business card.
My strategy lately is to stay loose, light on the feet, arms slightly akimbo, face forward, and try to let the other person make the first move.
